Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Woe Unto Me, Me, Me

Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.       –Helen Keller

It's odd that you can get so anesthetized by your own pain or your own problem that you don't quite fully share the hell of someone close to you.  –Lady Bird Johnson

Woe, woe, woe …
everyone else is so blessed,
except for me.
Of course.

If only I had …
a prettier face,
better genes,
more money,
not married cousin It,
people who loved me,
a family that cared,
a better education,
gotten the promotion,
her connections,
his luck,

But I didn’t. I don’t. I never will. Woe, woe, woe unto me.

Self-pity is self-destructive
Self-pity destroys relationships
Self-pity is a synonym for self-absorption
Self-pity invariably seeks to manipulate others
Self-pity empties my soul and life of anything that is good and beautiful
Self-pity is a narcotic that leaves me feeling good about staying where I am
Self-pity prophesies continuing grief and then sees to it that it happens
Self-pity says that present circumstances own my head and heart
Self-pity is an excuse for not asking “Now what?” and moving on
Self-pity makes you incapable of empathy (See Lady Bird)
Self-pity is the sentiment of an ungrateful heart
Self-pity is a self-inflicted wounding of the soul
Self-pity is the antithesis of self-responsibility

Sure, sometimes excruciatingly painful things come our way. We hurt, we agonize, we weep, and our souls bleed: very human, very understandable. However, while a person with self-respect will seek healing and wisdom, the individual indulging in self-pity seeks pity-ers, or at least an excuse for sitting still. And even the slightest showing of strength or fortitude would rob them of those who would affirm their pitiable state and their excuses. (If you want to help them, don’t be a pity-er.)

Self-pity is a willful resistance of the faith, hope, and love, needed for seeing and working toward realizing all the possibilities that remain before you. If you truly want to be healed, to be free, to move on, you have to cut yourself free from this anchor that will keep you stuck in a never ending mawkish soap opera. If you think constantly picking at your wounds while sitting off in a corner alone or displaying them for the world to see feels good, just wait until you experience self-respect.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2013  

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