Thursday, May 9, 2013

Fate, Destiny, or Unresolved Issues?

Man finds it hard to get what he wants, because he does not want the best; God finds it hard to give, because He would give the best, and man will not take it.  -George MacDonald

Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”  Or …

If you are a Christian, you will call it “God’s will.” 
If a rationalist, “It was logic that brought me here.”
If a narcissist, “This is where following my bliss took me.”
If unconsciously fearful, “Here is where I feel safe. It's kismet!”


Until the light is taken into the very core of my soul, then I am a potential slave to the power of unresolved issues, unhealed wounds, and unidentified terrors. You’d think at the very least--realizing I do not know what I do not know—this would keep me humble in my decision-making, as well as desperate for insight and wisdom from older and wiser people. But we prefer quick closure to waiting patiently in ambiguity, self-righteous confidence to humbly seeking out the wisdom of others, because we already know what is best. But do we? 

Helping to Make the Unconscious, Conscious
Here are some questions to ask yourself as you face the Big Decisions, the life-altering choices that we all face, that may help you bring what is hidden to light:

Ask yourself, “How would I know if I were wrong?” and sit in the silence, allowing this question to permeate your mind and soul.  (Am I willing to be wrong? Am I willing to admit that where I am is not where I am supposed to be?)

If I was running from something or someone, who or what would that be? How would I know?

Am I being driven toward a specific action (There is no other way; I have to do this; I have no other choice; I must do this.), or are faith, hope, and love, drawing me in this direction?

What where you thinking and feeling, where were you headed, before you decided this choice was a “have to”? What happened? What changed you, specifically?

While making this decision, is there anyone you are studiously avoiding asking for input? Why?

Is there anyone in your life who knows your full story, secrets and all? Have you spoken to this person about your decision?

How much time has been spent talking to a minister, mentor, coach, or counselor about your life decision? How about a “disinterested” party: someone who has no vested interest in the outcome of your decision?

Consider those with whom you have confided regarding your life-decisions: how many of them bring a different perspective from yours? How many have always applauded your every decision? Is there anyone who most always challenges you down to the core of your being in times of decision-making?

Quick: Write down the three most traumatic events of your past. If any or all of these events are playing into your decision, how would you know?

For those of you who believe in God, how much time in prayer have you spent asking God for wisdom, and to show you all of your heart in this matter? How often do you implore God to reveal what is hidden in your heart and mind, and to heal what needs to be healed?

I don’t know about you, but I do not want unresolved issues, unhealed wounds, and unidentified terrors, leading me around by my nose. Been. There. Done. That. I don’t want to end up somewhere, calling it my destiny, when in fact it is anything but. And I certainly do not want to be in a place where my best is keeping God from giving me His best.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2013 

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