After
my last post, I have been thinking about following up with some other thoughts
on compartmentalizing. As I am
presently doing some charity work in Ethiopia, I haven't had much time to
compose my thoughts. The night I arrived, I needed to turn my brain off so
decided to go mindless and switched on the TV. Within minutes I was engrossed
in re-watching Girl, Interrupted. (1999. Taken from book by Susanna Kayson,
Directed by James Mangold.) There is this powerful scene between Ryder and
Redgrave's characters that, while not dealing with this subject, I thought it was
quite applicable.
Susanna: I'm ambivalent. In fact, that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Wick: Do you know
what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna: I don't care.
Dr. Wick: If it's your
favorite word, I would've thought you...
Susanna: It means, "I don't care." That's what it
means.
Dr. Wick: On the
contrary, Susanna. Ambivalence suggests strong feelings in opposition. The
prefix, as in ambidextrous...means "both." The rest of it, in Latin,
means "vigor." The word suggests that you are torn ... between two
opposing courses of action.
Susanna: Will I stay or will I go?
Dr. Wick: Am I sane or am
I crazy?
Susanna: Those aren't courses of action.
Dr. Wick: They can be,
dear, for some.
Susanna: Well, then, it's the wrong word.
Dr. Wick: No. I think
it's perfect. "What world is this? What kingdom? What shores of what
worlds?" * It's a very big question you're faced with, Susanna. The choice
of your life. How much will you indulge in your flaws? What are your flaws? Are
they flaws? If you embrace them, will you commit yourself to hospital for life?
Big questions, big decisions. Not surprising you profess carelessness about
them. +
In one arena, I feel strongly about behaving according to these moral values. In another arena, I feel just as strongly about behaving according to opposing values: except when we compartmentalize, we aren't "torn." Being torn would at least mean our consciences were still active! Anyway--
Provoking questions
The
choice of your life:
How
much will you indulge in your flaws?
What
are your flaws?
Are
they flaws?
If you
embrace them, will you commit yourself to hospital for life?
Big
questions, big decisions.
* Hercules:
Quis hic locus, quae regio, quae mundi
plaga?
"What world is this?
What kingdom? What shores of what worlds?"
--Seneca,
Mad Hercules +
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