The truth cannot impose
itself except by virtue of its own truth, as it wins over the mind with both
gentleness and power. –John Paul II *
As
a corporate trainer who specializes in communication and persuasion, I am
constantly studying legendary communicators. I want to know how it is they are
able to communicate so effectively and what their process is for persuading
their audiences, especially hostile audiences. Given the worldwide impact John
Paul had on people and cultures around the world, he was and is someone whom I
have studied in great depth. While there are many things we can learn from him
here, there are only two lessons I want to highlight: the necessity of
connecting with our audience and the power of a compelling vision.
As
a young man, John Paul immersed himself in theater. Working on a stage “honed
his sense of timing, made him more articulate, and taught him the necessity of
connecting with an audience.” * Over the decades of his speaking in stadiums,
churches, conferences, and in front of television cameras, one of the most
common observations was regarding his uncanny ability to make every person in
the audience sense that he was speaking directly to them, even when his
audience was over one million people.
Two minors from Katowice
were attending one of the Pope’s Masses at Czetochowa, surrounded by a million
fellow Poles. One began to make a remark during John Paul’s homily when his
friend quickly interrupted, “Damn it, don’t talk when the Pope’s talking to
me.” *
My
experience of many who aspire to being cultural influence agents is that they
talk at people. Most everything they
say or write comes across as a “canned presentation,” a sermon, as propaganda,
that will be regurgitated over and over again, regardless of the audience, the
moment, the platform, or the medium. The effect of such presentations on the
audience, either consciously or unconsciously, is, “S/he doesn’t have a clue as
to who I am, what makes me tick, or why I believe what I do.” Communicators,
who genuinely intend for their message to be heard, will take this “feedback”
and seek to discover how to connect with people. Remember: without rapport,
there is no communication.
How
do we do this?
Henri
de Lubac, one of John Paul’s closest friends and fellow priests, wrote, “If you
do not live, think, and suffer with the men of your time, as one of them, in
vain will you pretend, when the moment comes to speak to them, to adapt your
language to their ear.” The operative word here is, “with.” How many
face-to-face and heart-to-heart conversations have we had with those whom we
seek to communicate our vision and values: conversations that entail far more
listening than speaking? For many influence agents, the number is paltry,
which, of course, leaves them incapable of communicating any degree of
understanding the minds and hearts of those to whom they are seeking to
persuade.
When
it comes to maintaining a connection with our audience, word choices matter. Our
words and how they are spoken can communicate understanding, empathy, and
respect, or they can leave our audiences dumfounded and confused as to what we
are seeking to convey and to whom we were actually speaking. In other words, we
leave them feeling invisible. The remedy for this is not a thesaurus: it is
relationships.
John
Paul wrote of presenting “the sacred in such a manner as seems entirely fitting
to the men of today.” * If our communications about what we hold as sacred are,
for example, framed for and presented to audiences of the 1700s or 1950s, no
matter how true our words, no matter how “sacred” our visions and values, they
will remain muted, because we are speaking to an audience (culture) that is no
longer in existence.
Yes,
no matter how cogent and clear our communication, there will always be those
whom disagree. However, for people to walk away thinking and feeling we are
clueless as to their concerns, fears, needs, beliefs, and questions, should be
utterly unacceptable. Connecting with our audiences, attaining and maintaining
rapport with people, is on the communicator, not the listeners. The first step
to accomplishing this, as Lubac pointed out, is living, thinking, and suffering
with the men and women of our time, as one of them.
Next
week: The Power of a Compelling Vision.
*
Witness to Hope: The Biography of Pope
John Paul II, by George Weigel, Cliff Street Books, 1999
Copyright, Monte E Wilson,
2015
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