A salesperson is clearly
communicating the value of her product while the audience is silently thinking,
“How long is this going to take?”
A minister is passionately sharing
his message with a congregation that is lost in thoughts of various fears and
concerns about their lives.
A team member is relating data she
believes pertinent to the team’s deliberation, while most of her team members
are experiencing MEGO disease. (My-Eyes-Glaze-Over.)
A history teacher is holding forth on
the American Revolution, while his students are contemplating the pros and cons
of sneaking out of the house tonight, after their parents have gone to sleep.
What is missing in each of these
scenarios?
What is it that keeps those with whom
you are communicating in the right frame of mind so as to genuinely be open to
your influence?
What is the most critical source of
efficaciousness in persuasiveness?
What is the oxygen that keeps your
conversation alive?
What is it that all Great Communicators
possess and ineffectual communicators overlook or even consider trivial?
What is…rapport? It is the
answer to every question just asked. Rapport is the difference between
broadcasting your message and actually communicating.
Rapport is a connection between people, a
sense of appropriate symbiosis/ mutuality.
Rapport is the maintaining of a relationship with those with
whom you are seeking to communicate.
Rapport is the continual captivation of the attention
of those with whom you wish to persuade.
Rapport is an atmosphere of trust.
Rapport is an ongoing demonstration of understanding.
I have watched the most articulate
and elegant speakers—religious leaders, politicians, salespeople, lobbyist and
parents—fail to achieve their outcome because they did not maintain rapport.
And once you have lost rapport, you either get it back or acknowledge that all
you are doing is throwing words at the people around you.
Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2009
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