Knights of the Round Table, Not Lone Rangers

Arthur never heard speak of a knight in praise but he caused him to be numbered of his household … Because of these noble lords about his hall, of whom each knight pained himself to be the hardiest champion and none would count him the least praiseworthy, Arthur made the Round Table…It was ordained of Arthur that when his fair fellowship sat to meat, their chairs should be high alike, their service equal, and none before or after his comrade.  Thus no man could boast that he was exalted above his fellow, for all alike were gathered round the board, and none was alien at the breaking of Arthur’s bread.

Roman de Brut, Wace

The Fellowship consists of men and women with whom we join ourselves on a psychological and spiritual level. These aren’t buddies with whom we hang out or great guys we enjoy debating from time to time. These are the men and women with whom we choose to share our hearts, minds, wisdom, talents, and lives. These people are our Band of Brothers, the Knights of our Round Table. The question that demands our attention, intelligence, and wisdom is – Who’s Who? Who sits at this Table?

Arthur never heard speak of a knight in praise but caused him to be numbered of his household. Arthur wasn’t looking for Knights with potential. He sought Knights whose performance was already so stellar that word had spread throughout his realm of their prowess and chivalry. The Fellowship should consist of people who inspire us to be a better man or woman. We need people who can see through our shticks and call us out. We need fellows whose integrity has grown to such depths we can trust them to walk around in our heads and hearts.

This Band of Brothers is where all the New Testament’s “one another’s” are worked out: love one another, serve one another, walk in the light with one another, confess your sins to one another, forgive one another, honor others above yourself, build one another up in love. This doesn’t happen looking at the back of someone’s head in church but face to face at the Round Table.

Of whom each knight pained himself to be the hardiest champion and none would count him the least praiseworthy. The knights we are looking for are “getting it done,” making a difference, and seeking to make their visions a reality in their worlds.  The Fellowship is there to “provoke one another to love and good deeds.” The fellowship we enjoy is to strengthen us for the battles we are fighting. It is not a place where we go to hide from the world and feel good about our passivity. This is where “iron sharpens iron,” where our gifts, talents, and skills are sharpened for battle.

It was ordained of Arthur that when his fair fellowship sat to meat, their chairs should be high alike, their service equal, and none before or after his comrade.  Thus no man could boast that he was exalted above his fellow, for all alike were gathered round the board.  Here, in this Fellowship, we are peers. This is where no one pulls rank or hides behind his title whenever a painful conversation arises he wants to quash.

Sir Bedevere: Oi, Lancelot, what’s up with those late night walks with Guinevere?

Sir Lancelot: Knave! Thou darest to challenge the King’s Champion?

Sir Bedevere: Yeah, verily. And Lance. Stop acting like you are about to fill a vacancy in the Trinity.

And none was alien at the breaking of Arthur’s bread. When Arthur called the knights, they showed up. These knights had a Code of Chivalry to which they were accountable. The Fellowship is where we give an accounting of our Quests, of how we are living out The Code, of how many damsels were saved and dragons sleighed. And there is nothing like a table loaded with meat and mead to help the conversation keep flowing.

I get it. Fellowships are scary because they require openness, honesty, vulnerability, and commitment. Yet, it is only within such relationships that we discover and develop our real strengths and deal with our weaknesses. It is with your fellow knights where you learn how love behaves. It is here where you are built up in love and sent back out on your Quests with increased strength and wisdom. If you want real scary, cheat your self out of such relationships and then go seek to be a demonstration of God’s love to the world around you. Believe me: scary is seeking to be the Lone Ranger when the Lord of the Kingdom has called us to be Knights of the Round Table.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2014

The Fellowship

Arthur never heard speak of a knight in praise but he caused him to be numbered of his household … Because of these noble lords about his hall, of whom each knight pained himself to be the hardiest champion and none would count him the least praiseworthy, Arthur made the Round Table…It was ordained of Arthur that when his fair fellowship sat to meat, their chairs should be high alike, their service equal, and none before or after his comrade.  Thus no man could boast that he was exalted above his fellow, for all alike were gathered round the board, and none was alien at the breaking of Arthur’s bread.

Roman de Brut, Wace

For thousands of years storytellers have told us of mythic Legendary Leaders and their bands, their fellows, their friends, and their covenant brothers. Such stories have always resonated with us. 

King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table

Robin Hood and his Merry Men

The Three Musketeers

Frodo and his eight fellow travelers

Harry Potter and the ever present Ron and Hermione

There is something about the metaphor of a band of brothers that we intuit as a relationship that would bring immeasurable joy. It isn’t just a case of seeing pragmatic reality—we need fellow soldiers if we are going take this hill, a team to build this business—but a deep sense of psychological necessity.

We were not created to be alone and go it alone. And we know it.

Even the cynics who scoff at such relationships as childish Fairy Tales are betrayed by their fear, anger, and bitterness. “It should have been so, I needed it to be so, but was betrayed and will never allow myself to go there again. People are idiots.” Their cynicism belies a deep-seated pain over not experiencing what their hearts so desperately needed.

We long to belong. We wonder what it would be like to know that we know that he has our back, that she will get in our face if we are about to walk over a cliff, that they will ride to our defense. We need to be loved and to love. We need the gifts, skills, wisdom, and light of others, as they need ours. We need others to help us realize our visions.

The Fellowship of a Round Table

When we read stories such as that of King Arthur and his knights, what is it that makes such “fellowships” possible? How does the process work? What has to Be There for this to become what it is our hearts long for and need?

I believe that such fellowships are rooted in a commonality of vision and our core beliefs and principles, as well as a mutuality of our sense of life. The more these all align, the deeper the potential for true fellowship. How many of our past relationships never developed into what we longed for or fell apart because there was a lack of alignment on these core elements? Without casting aspersion on anyone and believing the best of all, just how deep of a fellowship can we have with people whose visions and core beliefs are not merely different but are actually opposed to each other? Come on. The only way for Arthur and Mordred to have fellowship is for one of them to convert.

Fellowship, however, is more than acknowledging that we have the same beliefs.. Fellowship involves sharing, participating, and contributing. I have been in churches, communities, associations, clubs, and even families that had a broad base of commonality. However, these knights were not seeking to establish a vision in reality and were not sharing and participating in each other’s lives. They simply sat at the Round Table staring at each other, maybe enjoying a beer together from time to time, and then each going out to live their separate lives. This is not a sign that such brotherhoods are a fantasy but a demonstration of people refusing to actually fellowship.

The kind of relationships we long for and need don’t just happen. We aren’t going to wake up one morning and magically find our selves sitting at a Round Table with fellow knights discussing strategies for defeating the Saxons and establishing Camelot. Fellowships are forged over time with great effort, ongoing demonstrations of love and support, and tested by battle after battle, both internally to maintain relational integrity and externally to realize our visions.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2014

The Hall of Mirrors

The Christian faith is a communal faith, whereby we not only commune with God but also with those whose souls are also united to Christ. We are to love one another, serve one another, confess our failures to one another, forgive one another, celebrate our victories with one another, provoke one another to love and good deeds, and take joy in honoring others above ourselves. Phew. That’s a whole lot of stuff that we are to be doing with and for one another.

St John said that our love for God would be seen in how we love each other. You say that you are walking in the light of God’s Truth, then that will be seen in doing the same with others. He says that his life is all about serving God. That will be proven by how he serves others. She professes that she honors God and walks humbly before Him. Then thus it shall be so toward others. Others are the Mirrors of Reality. And there’s the rub.

If we want to tell ourselves and others one thing while doing the opposite, then we either have to change or we have to get rid of the mirrors.

Mirrors of Reality

Wisdom declares that those who isolate themselves are seeking their own desires. (Proverbs 18.1) I don’t want what you would reflect about me anywhere near my world. Why: because I want what I want and do not wish to be challenged. I want to believe I am getting along fairly well with my chosen way of being in life. I want to be comforted by feeling all the “right things” toward others without my actual behaviors being challenged by any mirrors. I want to go my own way while pretending to be following after God. Mirrors allow no such pretense.

So.

We prefer churches filled with isolationists whose members have unspoken agreements with one another to keep all mirrors covered.

We only choose “friends” who are muddy mirrors.

If a clean and true mirror somehow finds its way into our world, we will spew forth a great fog, remind everyone that we ALL “see through a glass darkly,” and remove said mirror from our world during whatever chaos we can create.

And we will do this while telling ourselves stories of how we are being true to God, to ourselves, to Truth, and to wisdom. Win-win! I get to hold on to my secret desires (willfulness, greed, covetousness, lust, vanity, or what-have-you) all while professing a devout love for God and others because I have removed all mirrors from the halls of my world. What is so bizarre is that we will then cry out to God regarding our loneliness and how so many blessings promised us in scriptures are nowhere to be found in our lives. Well, go figure.

We were not created to be alone, not meant to go on our Quests, alone. St Paul told us that there are individuals with whom God wants us to be joined where there is a constant giving and receiving of life. (Ephesians 4.16) It is here where all the “one another” stuff mentioned in the opening paragraph is lived out. Don’t forsake these people, don’t ignore what they are mirroring back to you about your reality, for it is in these relationships where we are strengthened for our Quests and built up in love.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2014

The Despair of An Empty Soul

What the eyes see is better than what the soul desires. This too is futility and a striving after wind. -Ecclesiastes 6.9

Here in Ecclesiastes 6 Solomon has been holding forth on the despair of the rich who are never satisfied with what they possess. What’s the point of it all? If you can’t be satisfied and everything you own is going to fall into someone else’s hands after you die anyway, then “Better the miscarriage than he, for it comes in futility and goes into obscurity…”  

There is a despair that people live with that is the result of seeing the world as an end in and of itself. Like Solomon in his Ecclesiastes days, they seek love, they traverse their worlds in search of beauty, they are successful in their labors, they deny themselves nothing, and yet they live with despair because nothing and no one fills the void in their souls. What they don’t understand is that the problem isn’t a lack of stuff or people to love but a failure of vision.

For these people all there is, is “life under the sun.” (Solomon) For them, all remains meaningless and futile unless or until they see life above the sun: see that the God of creation and life is the be all and end all of our existence, see that creation, love, beauty, and even our labors, are avenues by which we are to commune with God. If we refuse to see the love of God behind and through the love of others, if we cannot see the beauty of God that is shining through a work of art, if we fail to see the glory of God in a magnificent sunset, we are inevitably left empty, dissatisfied, and, ultimately, in despair.

Christians know this intellectually yet often forget it in practice and so live with discontent and the despair of an unbeliever. Their lives are filled with love, beauty, and a roof over their heads and food for their stomachs, but it is not enough, it is never enough, because they too fail to see God in all of these blessings. They do not commune with the God whose life is pulsating through these gifts and, therefore, are using these blessings as ends rather than means to the end: communion with God. 

How often do we experience despair because we are not grateful for what our eyes see but are only focused on what our souls desire? We crave more stuff, more love, more beauty, more of something, anything, please!! Why? What good does it do us if we are not grateful for what we do see, experience, and possess, in this moment? If I cannot commune with God right now through all of these gifts He has already sent me, what difference will ten more gifts make in my life? 

How many times do we rail against our present situations because of something we do not or cannot have, all while ignoring what God has sent us, has arranged for our good? And so we are left feeding on despair, while ignoring all the wonders, beauty, and other expressions of God’s Love and Life that fill our worlds and could fill our souls, if we would but choose to see the Gift Giver whose presence is in, around, and through, all that He has given us.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2014

Vainglory

Most of you reading this want to make a difference in the world and to leave something behind that says, “I was here and I created something of worth.” That “something” can be a family, a skyscraper, an artist’s opus, a business, or an orchard. Whatever the symbol, we want it to live on after we die monumentalizing for future generations our pursuit of incarnating our beliefs, principles, and view of life.

With some people this desire is ego driven: “I, Monte E Wilson, was here in all of my glory. Behold and stand in awe!” Here, it is not a symbol of your beliefs, principles, and view of life that you are building but an image you wish to perpetuate. The edifice you leave behind is not inscribed with your most sacred beliefs but, rather, is adorned with a selfie. Vanity.

Years ago I knew a missionary whom I greatly admired. He was relentless in his pursuit of sharing God’s love with the poor in the village where he had chosen to serve. I remember the morning a mutual friend of ours called and told me of his death. I was shocked, as he wasn’t even 60 years old. The first reports were that his death was due to the enormous sacrifices he made on behalf of others. A few months later, I was visiting his area of the world and decided to go pay my respects to his family and co-workers. Within an hour of my arrival a different story emerged as to the cause of his death. He was a diabetic and for years had refused to take his insulin shots. I was told that he wanted to be seen and remembered as a martyr. His monument was a paper-thin piece of tin inscribed with the words, Vain Foolishness.  

For people of faith, the ego often takes on robes of false-humility and a self-flattering earnest desire to show ourselves worthy of God. In other words we set out to justify our existence. “Look at what I did with my life: I deserved to exist. I deserve God’s honor, grace, and life itself!” This person sees life as a probationary period where we seek to prove ourselves worthy … of something for which we can never earn. Really? We think our works that must appear (at best) to the Creator as sandcastles on the beach leave Him speechless in His awe of what we did with our lives? “Whoa, Wilson! Okay, I give you a divine two-thumbs up. You earned my gift to you!”  Vanity of vanities: nothing but vanity.  

With some personalities, however, the robes of false-humility aren’t a good fit for their supersized egos. No, what they put on is the armor of an angry self-righteousness. They alone are the voice in the wilderness crying out for mankind to repent. They alone stand for Truth, Justice, and Integrity. They walk securely in the awareness that, while the suckers around them have succumbed to darkness, they see the Light. Their voices are singular, distinct, and filled with the righteous wrath of God. “I see, I know, I am correct, I matter, I am special,” hear the ego roar! “Certainly the Almighty sees my righteous warfare for His sake, smiles, and counts me worthy of His gift of life.” The echo of a Pharisee whose life and prayer were seen by God as only so much chasing after wind: “God, I thank You that I'm not like other people--greedy, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector!” (Luke 18.11) Vainglory.  

All attempts to earn God’s gifts are an affront to His unmerited grace. Life is a gift that we are to humbly embrace with gratitude. The work we perform, the monuments we erect, are only acceptable to God when done from a heart filled with thanksgiving and a desire to be faithful to Him who has given us unworthy people such astounding gifts.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2014

Your True Self v Off the Rack Personalities

In the world to come I will not be asked, “Why were you not Moses.” I shall be asked, “Why were you not Zusya?” 

-Rabbi Zusya

The most common form of despair is not being who you are.

-Søren Kierkegaard

The Psalmist declares that we were fearfully and wonderfully made. This is not solely a declaration regarding the wonders of bones and muscles, organs and neurons, but about that which makes you a once in all eternity human being. Your existence is a gift from God and you are His gift to the world in which you live.

 

Yet how many of us spend our lives seeking to be other than whom we were created to be, effectively telling our Creator that we reject His gift, His designs, and His purposes for our existence? True peace and joy are found in being the individual whom you were created to become, for only that person “fits” in the grand scheme of God’s designs.

 

Your identity is not out there hanging on a sales rack. It can’t be found for $599 at a seminar promising that you can reinvent yourself. What does it say about us when we scurry around trying on personalities like clothes off of a rack, seeking to be loved, honored, and successful—not as God defines those experiences but as our culture defines them? Whatever it is we think we are doing, all we will end up with is emptiness and despair.

 

In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, author Bonnie Ware writes that the number one regret of those who are facing impending death is that they wish they had “the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” I would add here, “and not the life I lived in reaction to those who did not believe in me, seeking to prove them wrong.” Whatever. The point is you have a knowing-ness as to your true self: all other personality makeovers don’t fit, trouble you, and make you into someone you don’t recognize when alone with God.
 

We are not self-authenticating because our self is a gift given to us by our Creator. Sure, many of us want to be other than who we are because our culture has exalted personality-types and lifestyles that help us all feel good about being narcissists and condemned those that dampen the party. But we won’t be standing before our culture when we die: we will stand before the One who said, “Let there be … you!”

 

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2014

Lawyer-Christians

Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments.  He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.  But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him.  He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.

-St John

When it comes to the Bible, I have found that most of us are scheming and conniving lawyers. We love looking for loopholes so we can get around its simple and clear commands. When we can’t find a loophole we yank out a Get Out of Jail Free card claiming a special dispensation. I’m confused, ill, suffering, or, a favorite go-to today, doing that won’t work in today’s culture.  Phew! Always feels good when I can figure out how to be a Christian while at the same time keeping the New Testament from intruding in my life.

Consider four direct commandments for those who say they are followers of Jesus Christ:

Love one another (John 13.34) Pretty straightforward command with plenty of descriptions throughout the NT as to how love behaves and does not behave (e.g. I Corinthians 13). Loving others is not left in a fog of opinions but has objective and concrete descriptions with which we can evaluate the nature and depth of our professed love. It is terrifyingly simple: whatever we do to or for the least of Christ’s brothers, we have done to or for him. (Matt. 25.40)

Walk in the light (I John 1.6,7) Be directed by the Light of God’s Truth, allow the Light of Christ to continually burn away all of our darkness, and be truthful and honest in all our dealings with others. And when we see that we have been walking in darkness?

Confess your sins one to another (James 5.16: Note It does not say to confess his or her sins to others!) Certainly we confess to God. Here, however, because our darkness affects the people around us, we are to humble ourselves and confess what we have done and left undone that is unbecoming for a child of God’s. Yet this command is not simply about asking forgiveness of those whom we have failed. It is broader than this, as it is describing a fundamental transparency with fellow Christians regarding our failures. Talk about an effective means for dealing deathblows to pride and vanity. Yowzer!

Bear one another's burdens (Galatians 6. 2) Our burdens—our concerns, internal battles, frailties, failures, fears, conflicts, and insecurities—are not for our shoulders alone. For many of us the challenge is not in serving others but in allowing other people to serve us where we most need their strength and wisdom.

“No problem, Wilson. I am all for love, light, confession, and serving others.”

Okay.

Show me where it is happening in your life.

Name the individuals with whom you are living out these commands in your day-to-day living.

It’s easy to agree with the demands of the NT without carrying them out in a specific context.  But Christ said if we loved him, we'd obey his commandments, not just parrot them. 

It is disingenuous to stand before the jury, telling them how highly we value Christ’s commands, while at the same time doing everything in our power to nullify or circumvent those commands. The jury of our peers may buy it: the Judge doesn’t.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2014