Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Life as a Fiary Tale II

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious … I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it. –St John, Revelation 2.17

“I don’t know my name.”

He slaps his knee and bursts out laughing. “Of course, not! None of us do. O, we have names that can be useful in this world, but they are like scaffolding the King uses while He is building the real you. Most people mistake the scaffolding for the building.”

“King? What King?”

When he answers me, his voice sounds like an echo from another world. “The King who has been invading your head and heart all these years, of course! Where do you think the visions and voices are coming from? What you are calling ‘torment’ is actually the wooing of the King. It only feels like torment because of the contours of your heart.”

“I want to meet Him.” (I wonder if I should have formulated my reply as a question.)  

“He wants to meet you infinitely more. Then you still intend to jump?”

“Yes.” Hearing myself, I sound far more confident than I feel.

“When you do, you will land on a path at the bottom of a mountain. You will know you have found the right path when you see a raging fire.”

“Well that explains all the paintings of mountains being consumed by fires. They’re metaphors.”

The counselor squints his eyes while scanning the paintings. I can tell that he is recalling the fires he walked through. “Metaphor? Yes. No. There will be days where you wish the fire were only a literal one. Whatever you do, don’t run away. There is no way around it—if you want to meet the King. But know this. If you will keep choosing to press forward in pursuit of the Name Giving King, keep embracing the fire, then it will gradually begin blazing inside your soul.”

“Is there any other path?” I was being facetious. He was not amused.

“Don’t ask questions for which you already have the answer. The fire is necessary -- it is burning away all that is not the self the King created you to become. Make no mistake: this path is perilous. Sometimes the fire will take the shape of friends offering you solace and an easier way up the mountain. Their paths only lead to cul-de-sacs. Sometimes it will appear as another king offering you magnificent treasures, if you will leave your path and serve in his realm. It’s different for each of us. In my case, I was almost felled by the fire taking the shape of people who wanted me to rule over and care for them. In my vanity, I succumbed. It took me years to escape that dark place.”

I am now certifiably terrified. “How will I do this? How will I know the difference between a ruse and a gift from the true King?”

Handing me a book, “This contains the history of many of those who have set out, as you are, to meet Him. There are also songs you will want to sing, poetry you will find comforting when reciting and, best of all, there are the memoirs of the King’s closest Princes who knew Him well when he walked among us two thousand years ago. If you will learn from the book, adhere to the wisdom it offers, your ability to keep going in the right direction by making the wisest choices will increase. Most importantly, as you continue to read this book, you will get to know the King you are seeking.”

“One last thing: wherever you find yourself, the King hears your heart. Talk to him, question him, ask for what you need, and call to him for help. He will always hear you, always be there for you in ways that you need most. But beware: He doesn’t count time, as we do. He’s notorious for being late, while always on time.”

I ask him about my amnesia. “When will it pass?”

“Don’t be in a hurry. The amnesia is what motivates us. Yes, you will get insights here and there as to whom you are becoming and what you are here to do. The thing you want to hold on to most of all is meeting the King face to face, when He will give you a white stone with a new name written on it, a secret name known only to you.”

Lost in thought, I am startled when I see a cup about two inches from my face. “Drink this. It will dissolve your fears and strengthen your heart.”

As I am drinking, I begin falling through the couch, the building, the foundation, the earth, further and further down, into another world.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2014

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