Monday, June 23, 2014

Tell Me No Lies

Walk in the light, as He is in the light.
-St John

We would rather be ruined than changed;
We would rather die in our dread
Than climb the cross of the moment
And let our illusions die.
-W.H. Auden

Reality check: In every 10 minutes of conversation, the average person prevaricates, omits, exaggerates, and fudges the truth – purposefully lies -- right at 3 times. I am sure this number goes up exponentially for politicians, lawyers, and con men.

Many of our lies have to do with creating and maintaining illusions regarding who we are and what we are about. We have a family image, a workplace image, a church image, a buddies at the bar image, a social-media image, and an image of “my true self.” Maintaining each image depends on the stories we tell, the truths we hide, and the facts we fudge, to others and ourselves.

Of course, those people who still have a conscience live in fear that, at any moment, the cops (e.g., spouse, sibling, friend, workmate, bartender, private detective) are going to appear and bust them for all the cons they are running. And however intense the dread of exposure is, the fear of being myself is greater still. Such a waste of energy and the one life God has granted us.

Walk in the Light
I believe one aspect of “walking in the light” is walking in reality. We need to stop creating stories, images, and illusions that are in stark opposition to the facts of our inner reality. This doesn’t mean that everyone you know deserves a peek into your soul, only that you let you go of the cons.

Stop acting as if your marriage is to be envied by all when you know it is a mess.

Stop seeking to appear as Moses returning from Mt Sinai with the Ten Commandments, when just last night you were behaving as Simon Peter: “Jesus? Never heard of him, dammit.”

Stop creating personas that purposefully encourage illusions.

Stop pretending you are other than who you are right now.

Stepping out of the darkness and into the light begins with owning our choices, behaviors, feelings, and thoughts. Change and transformation will always elude people who refuse to fully accept and, where appropriate, divulge their realities to others.

“I’ve not been honest with you.”

This is how I feel.
This is what I am thinking.
This is what I did or am going to do.
This is what I need or want from you.
This is what I actually believe.
This is not really who I am.

Spiritual and psychological health requires that we own what is ours. We won’t experience true health, as long as we distance ourselves from what is true about us. O, that wasn’t me. That was my evil twin Skippy!  It’s only by owning the identity and environments my choices have created that I am empowered to effect true change and transformation.

Your mission this week, should you choose to accept it, is to do your utmost to walk in and portray to others the truth of your self. If you exaggerate to someone, go back to them and own it. If you tell someone a half-truth, go back and give them the whole truth. If you withhold information from people regarding your inner reality who will now be basing their decisions and relationship with you on an illusion you created, go to them, apologize, and lay it all out. And find someone you can talk to about the encantations you’ve been performing so as to  create all these illusions. Trust me. In short order, once you hold yourself accountable in this fashion, the temptation for adopting illusions and walking in the darkness of unreality will lose its attractiveness.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2014

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