Monday, September 2, 2013

Say It!

At the airport the other day, I overheard a lady telling the man she was sitting next to, “Don’t tell me you love me: show me.”  I get that. Many people are all talk and no show. But my experience is that just as many people have difficulty expressing love and care, verbally. How long has it been since you told your spouse, parents, children, or friends, “I love you” or “I so value our friendship,” or “I deeply care for you,” or even an, “I believe in you”?

“I told her I loved her 25 years ago when we were married. If I change my mind, I’ll let her know.” Great. Really funny. And wrong headed.

Telling someone that you love him in a way that truly communicates your heart requires a vulnerability that, for some people, is quite uncomfortable. Question: is this loved-one worth rising above your comfort zone or not?

Demonstrations of love are critical, for sure. Being loyal, honoring, and kind is important behavior in our relationships. But words are just as important. Sometimes I can’t see your love because of my self-doubt or some other issue. Sometimes I don’t see your behavior as “for me.”  Sometimes you are the same way. Sometimes we need to hear you say it.

A few weeks back a friend of mine, who is a Police chaplain, posted a comment on Facebook about how he had presided over five funerals that week. He then noted how we don’t tell our loved ones how much we love them often enough, “can’t tell them often enough.” Don’t wait for a funeral to remind you of the frailty and fleeting nature of life. Don’t wait for a special occasion. You need to say, “I love you,” as much as your loved ones need to hear it.

Copyright, Monte E Wilson, 2013 

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