When I intend to be a loving
person--when my determination is to demonstrate love in ways that others can
see, hear and feel this love—my conscious and subconscious mind will
automatically begin the process of seeking out avenues to do just this. I will also
maintain a consistent awareness as to where I am and am not achieving what I am
determining, and then adjusting my behaviors, attitudes and words accordingly.
I am not interested in merely feeling
loving; I am determining that others will be experiencing this love.
When it comes to motives,
however—at least as I am using that word here—calibration and adjustments are
irrelevant. “I AM feeling love toward you, whether you are getting it or not.
If not, that’s your problem.”
People who are determined to
produce X and see that they are getting Y adjust accordingly. My words and
actions did not produce X so I choose a different tact. It’s a no-brainer. But
it is right here where we discover the difference between those whose
intentionality is to produce X and those who only wish to feel X-ing. For many
people all that matters is saying, “My Heart is Filled with X.” It doesn’t
matter that everywhere they go what people are getting from them is Y.
We see this delusion in many
of our politicians. They say, for example, that their hearts are filled with
compassion for the poor. The fact that their actions (policies and regulations)
create more and more poor people is irrelevant. Results are meaningless. Why?
Because it is all about feeling compassionate not about truly helping the poor.
Before you start screaming,
“Amen,” however, look at your own life. Are you producing, over time, what you
are professing to be your intentions? If you are not, then it is time for a
Reality Check.
Owning your power includes taking responsibility for
what your power is producing.
Yes, yes, if your intentions
have only been embraced in the last few weeks, you probably need more time to
compare your stated intentions with what is being produced. However, if this is
not the case, if reality isn’t verifying your stated intentions, then wisdom
dictates a change in tactics. Reality also might be dictating you check your
actual intentions.
Back in the early 90’s I
heard Daniel Tocchini refer to our individual worlds as a mirror. Brilliant
metaphor. If my life is strewn with broken relationships—no matter what I
profess about my loving heart--these mirrors are reflecting that I must change
how I am seeking to demonstrate love or it is revealing a heart that just may
be filled with a determination other than what I am professing.
Professing noble intentions
may garner the applause of others, but for those of us whose intentions
(determinations) are to achieve specific outcomes, applause means nothing and
feelings of nobility useless: for us, results and achieving outcomes are what
matters.
Copyright, Monte E Wilson,
2011
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